Monday, February 16, 2009

Not even close to being tired. Why can;t it be Friday so I can sleep in tomorow?

Why am I still up? I have to get up at 6 for work tomorrow and so I should have been asleep a few hours ago. I am having a hard time going to sleep lately, but not much of a problem staying asleep. I would like to take something to sleep, but refuse to take something that I could possibly become addicted to. I have never abused drugs (legal or illegal) and I don't want to start now.
I normally like anniversaries but in about 22 days it will be an anniversary of something I wished had never happened. I'm thinking I might take that day off work so I wont have to worry about crying all day. I wish that no one ever had to go through losing a baby, but unfortunately a lot of women do. My mom lost a baby when she was about seven months pregnant. There was no reason for the death of my sister. When she was delivered (stillborn of course) my mom said she looked like a normal baby. Why did she die then? Why did my mom have to go through that? It will have been 27 years ago on June 14th that my mom lost Angel Marie (the name really fits her). I wanted a sister so bad that I used to get mad that God had taken my sister. I was lucky that 10 years later my mom had my only (living of course) sister, Missee. I am so grateful for Missee everyday. She is a ray of sunshine in my otherwise dreary life right now. I love her dearly and am glad that she is my sister.
I can't procrastinate sleep any longer so.....good night.

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