Monday, March 10, 2014

Six years.....

It's amazing to me to think that it has been six years - today - that I suffered my miscarriage. It's weird to think that we would have a five year old boy or girl (I've always thought boy for some reason) that would be in preschool and be starting school next year.

It was a tough day (and I'll spare everyone who reads my blog from having to hear the whole story again) and I can remember parts of the day vividly as if they had happened yesterday. I was quite hysterical (I knew I was losing the baby as there was no way the amount of blood I was losing could have been anything else) and I sometimes wonder what the other ER patients thought was happening to me and what the Nurses/Doctors did or didn't say (as long as they didn't say my name or any other information that could be used to identify me - they could talk about what was going on with me).

"The patient in the other room that you can hear yelling and crying is losing her baby." "The girl on the other room is hysterical....sorry about her yelling and crying."

Sometimes I'll see a something about a woman miscarrying on a tv show. There have been a couple of miscarriages/stillbirth that one character from my favorite Soap Opera (Days of Our Lives Nicole Walker), and her acting when she loses her baby takes me back to when I lost mine. It's hard to watch those kind of storylines on different TV shows because I feel so connected to the character going through the miscarriage, but it can bring back some hard memories from my own.

My name is Raegan and I am a mother to an angel baby who I lost at 11 weeks pregnant.